BE ABOUT IT

What happened to me? I used to really believe that I could do anything, be anything. I always had a sense of entitlement when I was a kid, heck even now. I never even considered I wouldn't get everything I wanted. Rules, convention, asking permission, waiting your turn…that stuff is for other people--not for me. But somewhere along the way, maybe after being kicked in the throat by life one too many times--I changed. I changed into one of those fearful women I used to pity. Living a life filled with doubt and second-guesses. An attitude that is almost always the result of having made lots of painful mistakes.

But at what point do you shake off the losses and setbacks and disappointments and try again? For me, I had to really take some time to figure out some things first. Namely, what was it that I truly wanted for my life and how could I get it. Getting around obstacles used to be my specialty. A skill built from a lifetime of trying to talk people into stuff. One thing is for sure, in order to achieve the things I want too in life I have to always practice these two things. Number one, I must always eliminate excuses. If there is a problem, figure out a way to solve it. Someone I need to work with me, figure out a way to convince them. Whatever the roadblock is, find a way around it and if I can't figure out the answer, ask the Spirit to guide me.

Number two, I must always be grateful. See that sense of entitlement I mentioned before has a sneaky way of turning one into an arrogant jerk. As long as I understand who I am and never let go of the fact that 'there but for the grace of God go I', everything will be fine.

There may be some people for whom success just finds them. One thing happens and then another things happens and then you meet this person or that and next thing you know, you're on the path to...whatever. But I am not one of those people. I have to kick, scratch, claw, cry, yell, and work and work and work my way to my goal. That’s just how life and I get along. Very little of what I’ve accomplished has come easy. I know that there is a purpose for that in terms of what my struggle may mean to other people. And I will wait for God to move me in the direction of that is.

For now, I know this. 2010 will mark a new era in my life. A turning point if you will. I'm a little older and a little wiser now. I am focused and I know what I want. The project that I am involved in has been a dream of mine for the last ten years. Next year, it is coming to fruition. It is a project so unique and so special that I can't talk about it just yet. Suffice it to say, in true Kisha style, it's something that has never been done before in the world of television and film. But, I will be chronicling its development here on my blog as the details unfold.

So...in the words of the late Michael Jackson—this is it!

Flashback Friday, Remember This?

Flashback Friday, Remember This?

Flashback Friday, Remember This?

Flashback Friday Remember This? (Shonuff vs. Leroy, THE LAST DRAGON)

Flashback Friday, Remember This?

The 21st Century in 7 minutes

Flashback Friday, Remember This? (What's the Password, PURPLE RAIN)

Flashback Friday Remember This? (Michael Jackson Performs Thriller Live)

THE TYLER PERRY EFFECT

Brilliant….funny….controversial…slapstick comedy….embarrassing….success.
The runaway popularity of Tyler Perry’s television shows and films fascinate some and baffle others. I mean, do we really need more stereotypical images of African Americans in entertainment? Amos and Andy, Steppin’ Fetchit, that was the kind of comedy best left behind in the 20th century. So why would any self respecting Black person deliberately promote the kind of negative, stereotypical images often seen in Mr. Perry’s work? In a phrase…it’s complicated.

Tyler Perry’s House of Payne has a lot of issues (the writing and storylines aside). Seriously, crack addicts, baby mamas and baby daddies, smart mouthed grown acting kids-The Cosby Show this is not. Perhaps though that is exactly Mr. Perry’s point, all stories, our stories can’t exist inside an ideal and be called an honest representation of black life. People hurt, his stories seem to suggest, and if you’re hurting too then maybe there’s something about this you can relate too and find entertaining.

But for many black folks who feel that we’ve come way too far, from slavery to freedom, from Martin to Obama, to find any humor in the poorly written, poorly produced work of Perry’s it is an abomination. There is a fine line with African American comedy that is difficult particularly with physical comedy, to walk that line between funny and buffoonery (see: The Wayans Bros. sitcom circa 1995 for buffoonery examples).

Some critics are quick to dismiss Perry’s work for its technical failures, but there is one major problem—people, black people flocking to see his movies. His films often open number one at the box office, and have earned hundreds of millions of dollars, putting him into the upper echelons of success with critically acclaimed directors such as Spike Lee.

For a variety of reasons the keen eye critics are applying to his work is lost on the larger population of African American moviegoers. Not the least of which is the religious aspect of his work. Jesus will get just about anybody a lot of leeway. The church folk that make up Perry’s target audience are less likely to view the characters as promoting shallow, racial stereotypes than as addressing aspects of their own lives that Hollywood had previously ignored. Sure the script may be deep as a kiddie pool, despite dealing with such heavy topics as rape, incest, drug abuse and adoption. But couched in a heavy dose of religion mixed with comedy, its shortcomings are easily masked to his audience.

Whatever it is one thing is for sure, it is difficult to imagine where black cinema would be right now without Mr. Perry’s contribution. There are very few black films that have ever opened number one. The past five movies of Mr. Perry’s did. The tremendous success of his movies has defined black movies this decade, much in the way blaxploitation films did in the 70s and gangster films did in the 90s.

Many of Perry’s fans, fed up with the criticism, believe that they can just enjoy the movies for what they are—comedy. But others counter that it is no different from those who claim to enjoy misogynistic rap music for the beat. Just ignore the disturbing lyrics and get your groove on. Many of Perry’s critics see the connotation clearly. Degrading lyrics or degrading images, either way you’re hurting the progress of the African American community by perpetuating foolishness and negativity and you should know better. If we are not the protectors of our image, then who will be?

Tyler Perry has been able to overcome deep obstacles to achieve what he has. But with great opportunity comes great responsibility. His willingness to take a risk with the character of Madea has paid off in box office success. So as with every worn out reasoning for simply getting paid…you can’t knock the hustle.

MJ Acapella--need I say more?

Flashback Friday, Remember This?

Break the Silence to Stop the Violence: Domestic Abuse Awareness with Kacee Green

Break the Silence to Stop the Violence: Domestic Abuse Awareness with Kacee Green

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I was just riding along in my car listening to the radio and all of a sudden it hit me--the swift, unforgiving, and suffocating grief that literally took my breath away. I paused, my chest clinched, my breath was caught in the back of my throat and tears started to sting my eyes. I miss my mother everyday, every moment I am constantly aware that she is not here, that it’s been eight years and eleven months since I’ve spoken to her.

It is a grief that boils over every once in a while for no reason at all it seems to just envelope me in the reality of an unthinkable loss and to find my way in this new life, the one that I was left to navigate on that terrible day in November 2000---the one where my mother is gone.

My mother, Sheila Calloway, died. She was killed actually, stabbed to death with a carving knife we would later learn at trial. How can I say this so bluntly, so seemingly blasé? Because I live with these facts everyday, they’ve become almost dissociative. A shield, I think, a means of protecting my fragile sensibilities from shattering to pieces from the pain. These indescribable truths have seeped into my soul and become a part of me. Dealing with this unspeakable tragedy has become a part of my life. As much as I wished they would, the facts wouldn’t change, I could not alter time. I had to simply deal with it.

It was really cold the day I found out that I found out about my mother had been killed. It was a Friday morning and I was sitting at my desk writing a corporate profile and listening to music through my headphones when my boss called me into her office. I was new on the job and terrified that I had screwed up already. She assured me that everything was fine with my work, but that my aunt had called and there was a family emergency. I needed to fly home to Nashville right away. She said she didn’t know what had happened but that she told them she’d drive me to the airport.

I couldn’t wait to get out of her office and back to my desk so I could call home and find out what happened. A plane ticket I knew signaled some kind of tragedy, a sudden death maybe, but whose? I was not at all prepared for what was coming. As soon as I reached my desk, I called my father. Relieved that he answered the phone, I pressed him for information. I will never forget exactly what he said. “Kisha your mother was murdered last night.” And in an instant, my whole world came crashing down around me.

What followed was a blur, the details heartbreaking and horrific. She and her boyfriend had an argument. She broke things off. He went and grabbed a knife from the kitchen. She ran for the door, but never made it out.

In the days that followed I went to bed crying and woke up crying, taking solace in the support of my brothers, the only people in the world who knew exactly how I felt. We all managed to somehow get through the funeral and somehow the murder trial. The guilty verdict and subsequent life sentence brought my family some sense of justice and closure. But we all knew that none of our lives would ever be the same.

My mother died November 9, 2000, that year 1,247 women were killed by an intimate partner. Even though we believe that prior to her murder there was no actual physical abuse there was emotional and mental abuse which is common in many cases of murder-suicides.

Domestic Violence defined:

Physical Violence
• Pushing, shoving, grabbing, slapping, punching, and restraining among other acts
• Physical intimidation (blocking doors, throw¬ing objects)
• Use of weapons
• Stalking (See OVW Stalking Fact Sheet)
Sexual Abuse
• Attacks on sexual parts of the body
• Forced sexual activities
• Pressure to have sex
• Rape (including marital/partner rape)
Emotional/Psychological/Verbal Abuse
• Threats and coercive tactics
• Controlling what the victim can and cannot do
• Undermining a victim’s self-worth and self-esteem
• Humiliation, denigration
• Threatening to harm or kill a pet
• Isolating the victim from family or friends
• Blaming the abuse on the victim
• Interrogating the victim and their children
• Name-calling and yelling
Economic Abuse
• Maintaining control over finances
• Withholding access to money
• Making the victim financially dependent
• Not allowing the victim to work or go to school

(See: http://vaw.umn.edu/documents/inbriefs/domesticviolence/domesticviolence-color.pdf for more information)

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is a very serious issue that has touched the lives of just about everyone we know. Break the silence and get involved to stop violence against women. Visit: http://www.ncadv.org/

Flashback Friday, Remember This?

BLOGALICIOUS '09

Whew!  What a weekend.  I had an absolute blast at Blogalicious '09 thanks to The Blog Rollers (theblogrollers.com) who hooked me up with the conference pass through their contest.  But that wasn't the only thing I was to win this weekend, including designer shoes =D. 

I got to the conference not really knowing what to expect.  There is so much I don't know about social media, but as usual I soak up knowledge like a sponge.  At this conference there was plenty (shout out to the panelists and presenters for their excellent depth of knowledge).  I learned about how to drive more traffic to my blogs, how to shape the focus of my blogs, and how to protect my private info--muy importante!   

I also met lots of really cool people.  To all those I met this weekend, "Hey girl." I danced and partied hard too.  Did I mention the swag?  Oh pbm (please believe me).  The sponsors put it down!  Suave, Johnson & Johnson, Chevy, Mixed Chick, Pine-Sol, Disney, Sunkissed Mommy, Apple Bottom jeans on and on and on.  I will have some product reviews coming up.  As I mentioned before I also won a few things =D (gift certificates, a copy of Never Make the Same Mistake Twice by Nene Leakes--actually written by Denene Miller--who I also met and who is really cool by the way--designer shoes, t-shirts and of course the conference pass itself, so my cup runeth over.

I am still a little overwhelmed by everything that came at me this weekend (information, suggestions, products), so I will be sorting all that out over the next few days.  Meanwhile, I will be tweeting and posting about the most interesting things that happen to me this week next time on.....thekaceechronicles.

MASTERING THE ART OF CREATIVE NON-FICTION

I'm giving away a free pass to my workshops, Mastering the Art of Creative Non-fiction and Mastering the Art of Creative Non-fiction Online.  This is a six-week course in the most popular form of storytelling today--creative non-fiction. Including memoirs, biographies, personal essays, feature stories, and personal blogging, writers in this field dramatize real life events into entertaining narratives that read more like a novel.


This is a workshop for beginning to intermediate writers concentrating on format, scene structure, creating drama, writing dialogue, and mastering the art of creative true story-telling.

The goal of participants is to complete a 2,500-3,000 word piece which can be included in an anthology published in Summer 2010.

Course Materials: Workbook (included in course fee)  

TO ENTER THE CONTEST FOR THE FREE PASS TO THE WORKSHOP JUST LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW.  (Contest ends Friday, October 19, 2009)

TO SIGN UP:  http://creativewritingworkshop.eventbrite.com/

Buick Lacrosse 2010

Okay people, I don't do too many PBMs (Please Believe Me), but this is one of those times that I must.  What can I say?  I absolutely LOVE THIS CAR!  I was fortunate to get the opportunity to test drive the all new 2010 Buick Lacrosse for an entire week.  And boy letmetellya, this is NOT your grandfather's Buick!!

Let me say this again for emphasis-- THIS IS NOT YOUR GRANDFATHER'S BUICK!

It is sleek and stylish both inside and out; and handles very well on the road. It is also LOADED with features.  Coming standard in the base model CX are: 

OnStar
XM Radio
Audio Premium 7-speaker system
Driver and Passenger side Air Bags
Theft-deterrent System

Some of the optional cool features on the CX and other models are sunroof, leather seats, front seats (heater/cooler), rear parking assist, rearview camera, dual-zone climate control, universal home remote, two auxillary power outlets (for cell phones and such)  plush a 120-volt power outlet.  That's right you can plug up something.  It also includes a USB port.

The optional integrated dual rear seatback DVD screens and companion wireless headphones would make for an entertaining ride indeed.  The Lacrosse is also features the keyless push button start/stop.  The remote keyless entry is "smart" enough to sense you approaching and will automatically turn on the interior lights and unlock the door.

A note about fuel efficiency.  In the interest of full disclosure I will say that I own a Nissan Sentra which gets about 29 mpg in the city with the way that I drive and is in a completely different class than the Lacrosse.  However, the difference with the 18 city mpg of the Lacrosse was barely noticeable.  I was able to get everywhere I needed to go, including my weekend activities on three-quarters of a tank for the entire week that I had the car.  Bottom line--I loved the car, Isaiah loved it and it was hard for both of us when we had to turn it back in last Friday. :-)

The MSRP ranges from $27,000 to $35,000
MPG: 18 city/26 hwy.

Pros:  Comfortable ride, style, better than expected fuel economy, optional features, spacious
Cons:  Difficult to judge distance when parking, center console can be awkward

Check out:  http://www.buick.com/

Love This Site Awards - DivineCaroline

"Please vote for my site www.raisingisaiah.blogspot.com It's under parenting"

Thought you'd want to check these awards out. They're accepting votes and nominations now – and awarding $4,500 in prizes. Not bad!

View >>

Chillaxin' with Suave Beauty Products

Now people you know that I can be really particular about certain things. One of those things is skincare. I am careful about my products and what they contain as well as how my body responds to them. So when I got the chance to invite my friends over and share with them some full-size samples of some new Suave beauty products, I jumped at the chance.

My Shower Yourself Beautiful party was all about women's health--mind, body, and spirit. In keeping with that theme even the potluck dishes were healthy recipes. You know, in the spirit of improving ourselves. The ladies all loved the scent of the new Wild Cherry Blossom Body Wash and the Coconut lotion was a big hit as well.

"I liked the fact that the coconut scent was faint, not so overpowering that it interferes with any other fragrance you may be wearing," said Niccole McMichael.

I personally LOVED the Wild Cherry Blossom Body Wash, it is my new favorite. I was also surprised by the thickness of the Advanced Therapy lotion (my personal favorite), being that the price is so affordable. I will definitely be adding this to my beauty regimine.

Recession Crazy

The recession seriously has some folks becoming unhinged.

Okay so, I went to my favorite local “deli” and ordered my typical lunch. I always get ½ pound of chicken salad a piece of lettuce to wrap it in and two tomato slices. Well suffice it to say that the price was different again. Last week it was $3.33 this week it’s $4.32 two weeks before that it was $3.98. Now they don’t weigh this mind you, it’s just depending on who is on the register how the ½ pound (which always seems to confuse them) rings up. Well we got the price straight finally and here comes the interesting part, there’s a new seriously hard-ass nit picky manager who chastises the cashier and is all “Lettuce and tomato doesn’t come with the a la carte chicken salad, it only comes with the sandwich.” She responds by quietly telling him that the owner always sells it to me just like that.

Now I’ve been to this place, easily 30 times this year and this has never been an issue. So when I pointed that out, the guy gets all up in my face and is like, “If your boss asked you to work an extra 30 minutes for free would you do it?”

Not knowing how to respond I just stood there shocked that he was making such a HUGE deal about this. Now mind you, they’ve always thrown in the lettuce and tomato, I’ve never asked them to like I needed some kind of produce “hook-up”. What would the extra charge be anyway, like a quarter? A whole head of lettuce is like .99 cents, so the piece they gave me would be maybe a nickel. The tomato slices maybe a dime. So that’s an extra .15 cents. Yeah it’s a hardship but I think I can swing it and still pay my rent.

While this guy continues his rant about me not doing things for free and how he really doesn’t want to go up on prices and I’m all dude, if my complementary tomato slice and piece of lettuce is going to prevent you from making payroll, then I really don’t know what to tell you. All the workers just look at me helplessly and apologetic of course, because no one wants to own up to never charging me for the tomato and lettuce, lettuce which almost always has a gnat on it by the way.

So I took my bag and informed the manager that I would probably not be back.

Rejecting Marriage

BFF: Why don’t you want to get married?

KACEE: I’m too old now and it doesn’t seem to be anywhere in the horizon, neither do any more kids. So I’m just saying whatever. Just living my life and keep doing me. I have a kid so it's not like I'll die alone. Problem solved.

BFF: WHATEVA! YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD so stop talking crazy! So you know when you’re like whateva is when he will show up. So good for you.

KACEE: Okay, I’m not holding my breath. And why should I get married anyway? What does that mean exactly? I’m 35 years-old I have a life and a career, I can find someone to share it with without some sort of societal validation of who I am. I’ll just be one of those women who has great love affairs. But not the cougar kind because dating someone half your age is just creepy.

BFF: You are clearly meeting the wrong men. For the last time you need to EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS (and you know what I mean, other ethnicities!). No there is nothing wrong with you and you certainly do not need to change your attitude or make yourself less attractive – please. This morning on the radio they were talking about this new book “Getting To I Do’ I think you should check it out. It talks about how to be appealing or attractive to someone looking for a wife etc. etc. It’s worth a look-see. Not that you need that but it may offer some type of perspective.

KACEE: Whatevs! You are not listening to me. I don’t want to get to I Do. It is not my main goal in life. That’s being perfectly honest. I’m not pressed at all. And since marriage for whatever reason has alluded me all these years and I’m practically middle age btw, “I say hey marriage, f*ck you.” How about that? I, AM REJECTING MARRIAGE. So there!

BFF: Not too shabby! Sounds very Bohemian/European/Cougarish/Exotic/Kim Cattrallish – I like it, I like it a lot. Very open minded, very free spirited thinking. How progressive of you.

KACEE: Progress, exactly! I'm not sitting around waiting to be 'CHOSEN'. And chosen by who, some cheating deadbeat who probably didn't deserve me in the first place? No, I'm taking charge of my love life, my sexuality. Life wants to throw me lemons, fine I'll make lemonade.

BFF: Well I will support you and whatever decision you make. :-)

KACEE: Thank You…

Telephone Company & Paranoid Theories (Part 1)

Bellsouth sucks! I know it’s AT&T now but I will call it what I damn well please and letmetellya the name change has NOT improved the quality of service. The company sucks. Not suckish or suckie, sucks! Not because of its mammoth corporate existence but because it takes no real pride in customer service. I say this because I’ve been a customer for more than 15 years and it hasn’t gotten any better.

I’m trying to log onto the Internet and it’s not working so I need some technical support right? So I called from my home phone (also serviced by BellSouth/AT&T) and that shit is messed up too. After calling technical support three times from my home phone, it inexplicably disconnects while I’m on hold—10 minutes the first time, 12 the second time, seven the last time. And inputting my information all over again on each call and dealing with the annoying automated system that can “hear” me speak the information but never gets the response right is really getting on my nerves.

“You said you’d like to add features to your service, is that right?” says the automated recording.

“No,” I say. “I’m having connection problems.”

“Please choose from one of the following options…”

“Connection,” I say again.

“You said you’d like to add features to your service, is that right?

“Oh for the love of God why can’t I just speak to a human being.” I scream into the phone.

“I’m sorry I’m having so much trouble understanding you. I’ll get you over to someone who can help you,” says the automated voice.

By the third round of this I am completely frustrated. But then I start to get a little paranoid, like maybe my account has been flagged for all the times that I’ve called and cursed them out. So they do this just to screw with me. But I get clever, and call from my cell phone even though it’s before my free nights kick in. But the bastards have that number flagged too apparently ‘cause I was on hold for 26 minutes that time. I couldn’t hold on anymore. These were my precious anytime minutes we’re talking about here.

So I just hung up. I have no Internet and I can’t call about it because my home phone is messed up too. This bites…

R.I.P. King of Pop

Michael Jackson was a supernova. Just like a supernova, a collection of energy so bright that it cannot sustain and quickly flames out, so was the King of Pop. Michael Jackson sacrificed his childhood to bring us the music that would be the soundtrack to ours. I remember being a little girl in Nashville, TN in 1983 and being bused across town to help integrate Gateway Elementary. It was the first time I’d gone to school with kids outside of my community and I didn’t know what to expect. But like children often do we ignored the silly barriers of things like race, and quickly came together over the things we had in common. Bonding, black kids, white kids, mixed race kids, boys and girls all over one thing--our love and adoration of Michael Jackson and his music.

Everybody loved MJ, everybody had a copy of Thriller, everybody had a glove or a jacket or a poster. Everyone imitated his dance moves. He was the greatest performer of all time. Michael may be gone, but his music will live on forever.

Rest in peace…

Frustrated Writer

Ya know, over the Christmas holdiays I went to a very cool party here in Atlanta where I met a very cool actor. A friend made an introduction and we chatted for a few minutes, a brief conversation that led to him agreeing to read my screenplay (he mentioned that he wanted to get into producing).

So I sent him the script and a few weeks later I actually heard from his manager. He left me a voice mail saying that they'd gotten the project and that he had a few questions...yada, yada, yada. It was a very nice message that looked like maybe things would move forwards. Anywho, I returned the call and left several messages, but I haven't heard anything further about him or his manager about the project. Whoopdido right? It's Hollywood, people make a living out of bullshitting others. But it's just that at times it's so frustrating. I'd rather have more rejection letters to add to the pile of exactly two that I've received about my script, than to hear nothing at all. Especially with all the false starts.

I'm plowing ahead still nonetheless, but if you're an artist like me who has ever dealt with the frustration of query letters (w/SASE) that still go unanswered or agents and managers who give you the run around, please give me a shout out. I KNOW I am not alone in this.

I think I have less cellulite on my thighs. Woo who! It's the small victories :)

Why I write

I write because it keeps me centered, focused, and provides a natural outlet for my wandering mind, always looking, always questioning-- trying to figure out the best way to express something, to stay alive and to feel. I write because I am a storyteller, filled with an endless supply of ideas. I write because it keeps me grounded, human and connected, communicating thoughts and feelings and frustrations I’d be too shy to express otherwise. I write so that I live. Without this, what else would I do?

Voiceless

I was reviewing some short stories I had written, thinking I may put together a collection when I realized how distinct my writing has become. Like a mixture of short and long sentences that come together in an interesting cadence. It’s my signature I think. For a while there I was beginning to think that my work seemed too heavily influenced by some of my favorite authors like Terry McMillan. I didn’t want to write like Terry, I wanted to write like me. But what does that mean really? Will I have the courage to keep my characters free and honest, using language for example, that I’d be embarrassed for my grandmother to know that I use, but that’s really how people talk.

But I am proud to say that I seemed to have developed my own distinct voice. Whether or not that’s a voice that others connect with…well that remains to be seen. I will keep you posted.

Make Me Happy

Last year I found the key to happiness—I think. I was reading a magazine article on a woman who had written a book on achieving happiness in your life. Being generally discontented a lot of the time I couldn’t wait to read what she had to say. The author said that gratitude, merely being grateful for everything that you do have and not comparing yourself to others (which is the root of discontent) was the key. After reading the article I had to say I agreed.

My problem with my life was simply the way I viewed my life. As long as I measured myself on this ridiculous self created scale in relationship to my friends, peers, celebrities, etc., on the surface I was bound to come up short. I came to understand that the key lied in my acceptance of my own life. I needed to see the bigger picture. I am who I am, I have what I have, by the grace of God and I needed to stop whining and feeling sorry for myself because the world will not simply stop and devote itself to making me happy.

The key to happiness is simple—gratitude, being thankful and satisfied with your portion. So every time you feel yourself ready to complain about how something didn’t work out like you thought it would or how someone else’s life seems so much better than yours, remember that out there in the world somewhere is someone who is suffering far worse than you could ever imagine who would love to have your problems.

I trust God and I know that there is a purpose in everything that He does and everything He allows. He has a plan, I just have to roll with it.

What's in a name?

Okay, okay so lately I’ve been spending most of my time working on my website and setting up my blog. It’s the most wicked self-indulgence imaginable. It’s all about me. How fabulous, and pretty, and talented I am. Okay, enough already.

I was reading the Wall Street Journal at work. Relax, it’s actually a part of my job and I came across an article on Chinese businesspeople who had changed their birth names or something that had more meaning for success. The article used the example of a man whose given name was Jun, which meant handsome in Mandarin. Not so bad a name to give your kid, I thought. Except that this man wanted to create more energy of success in his business, and while handsome may take you some of the way, it will only take you so far. So, after seeking the advice of a Feng Shui master, he changed his name to Jianming, which means “establishing a bright future.”

At first read I thought the article was cute and interesting, but then it got me thinking—what if you could actually shape your future by having the right name? After all, I did name my son Isaiah (meaning “salvation of God”), because I wanted him to have a powerful name that would anoint his life with greatness. So I immediately went online to look up the meaning of my own name, thinking that that may shed some light on my weird life that has led me (and some other people) to wonder if I was in fact plagued with bad luck. Kisha means “rainfall” in Slavic. That explains everything.

What’s in a name? Hmmm…apparently not my writing career. After doing further research I discovered that there is another writer, published author to be exact, with my name--Kisha Green. I didn’t know what to make of it at first except to hate on her skills as a writer (okay I have a mean streak) and to curse my parents for giving me such a boring and common name. Couldn’t they look into my eyes and see the soul of an artist? I should have a fly name like Asha Bandele or Ntozake Shange or dream hampton (who spells hers in all lower case). Actually I wonder if this little discovery was the universe’s way of telling me to move my ass and finish my novel or my opportunities would be given to someone else.

What a day...

Okay so can I just say that it has truly been one of those days, well mornings actually since it’s only 11:49. It all started when I got my wires crossed with someone I was supposed to meet up with this morning and I was late for work. Then after a week of dieting and exercising like one of those contestants on The Biggest Loser, I’ve lost exactly zero pounds. I burned my breakfast twice, and to make matters worse my hair didn’t turn out right, I no longer like my outfit and I have a zit! Well to be fair at least the zit is being covered up by my bangs that are a little too poofy on the left side. I can’t believe I still have to deal with acne. I’m 34 years-old single mother, isn’t life hard enough?

At the Laundromat and one of my bras has gotten hung on something and is now on full display to everyone as the dryer goes round and round. I don't know why, but I am slightly embarrassed by this--exposure. I am always quick to load my undies b 4 anyone can see them. Maybe I don't want everyone to see my t hongs or my granny panties or my DD bra dangling in the window of the dryer. Can't a sista get some privacy? Ooh that guy is kinda cute. Oops look at me dropped a thong on the floor. I wonder if he saw it. :-)